April 17 (Zahir by Paulo Coelho)

Live your life as if it's your last
--> how about that? definitely a hard one to bear in mind and in soul.. why? because us as human carry all our bargains... worries..problems.

While reading this book, I came to realize a lot of things about life..about my principle...my priorities..my frustrations..accepting your weaknesses...

During Paulo's journey in his life... in realizing what's the most important in life..he tackled one reality about being a human. Most of the time, we are using other people to be a mirror of our soul..to be our guide..but then we are forgetting something..the people in front of us is a different person..we shouldnt compare ourself to them, I is different, created unique (with strengths and weaknesses that are different to others), we and us are two or more different individuals. Should help each other but advises should come from the heart...before criticizing understand yourself first...look at our own mirror first then we can guide others..

Next is accept our weaknesses, love it and learn from it...do not be afraid to admit you are a loser or that you committed sin or done mistakes in your life. I, as well dont like to admit that i'm afraid of being alone and not finding the right guy..though i am less worried about that nowadays..coz i realized before that it is not healthy for me to think about it. Then suddenly i learnt that i should embrace this fear and learn to accept it so i can be free from it afterwards..leave your past and live at the present time. Where there's no baggages, just the day..hour..minute that is important..live your life to the fullest one saying tells..

I don't know whether i can follow what Paulo Coelho said, but i do understand what he meant in the book. I would like to put his words into my life and if i succeed could be the best.
For now, ill try what i can to live as if it's my last....

April 14, 2007

What's worst than to know you can't just downgrade your OS into a snap? argh I hate Vista hehe

i hate it for hanging so often, and im losing my patience for this crap..

verdict.format HDD then install XP, i hope i wont ncounter any trouble else..another headache!

April 10 2007

so this is what i call daily blog hehe ^_^ improving as always and getting more conceited

someone called me mataray..well probably several do think so..anyways..i'm not really mataray..depends with the situation..question...approach..etc

as usual im stuck in the office ^_^ im not bored though..i'm enjoying every minute of it though i should be having more rest..i'll do that once my manager arrives from his National Service..
Just learned I still have 20 days of leave yey! Thinking of where to use it hmmm.

Finally, I was able to resolve the problem i had with our software installation yey accomplished something.. i almost gave up but then some trick worked har har!

April 9, 2007 (First Monday after Easter)

I thought to have a daily journal but seems i cannot work with the blogs on daily basis..

Anyways, today was able to talk to Anthony about book of King Solomon, where we had some discussion, not really argument as to why the book is not included in the New Testament...we have different opinion about it..he's after to the reason of the people who deleted the book in the New Testament..while I don't question it...like the other books which are not included in the New Testament..there are reasons why the people of the church didn't include them..whether their intention is pure..godly, christianly, evil, wrong..i don't mind...i dont need to question them... I have decided to choose this faith, where questioning about it is not my bargain

I'm done with the questions...i had plenty of them....with regards to christianity...some answered..some not. and I'm quite happy about it...I'm glad to have chosen this faith..I'm so honored to have found Him..I'm so glad i have loving Him..and so thankful He cares for me, my family, my friends, human, animal, plants, air, sun, moon, stars..everybody..

My intention is not to play good or to act nice.. i like to be a noble servant yes...i'd like to be a good Christian..that's another one..but i wont force people to believe what i believe in.. I can try to influence them with my faith coz i believe this faith is a very important one to share to everyone...while being forceful is not my craft..

Also, had conversation with Christian, nice kid from Germany, and he just translated his page to English..and he had quite a nice description of me..haha! he said im not boring..actually how he described me is touching..it's sweet and kind of him to say im such a great friend hehe..

Black Saturday _ April 6, 2007

So this is what I call Easter outside Philippines, it's different from what i usually have..i wasn't able to visit the Grotto (Marilao, Bulacan) this year. I don't do visita iglesia for Easter but this year no way to do as well..

I had restless weeks before Easter due to busy busy busy at work but for this weekend / holiday as we call it / time for reflection as we celebrate it, i was then able to have better amount of sleep/rest...and to add that was able to offer something for Him :)

As a Christian, I have sinned many times, fell a couple of times.. wished/hoped people i'm irritated, i could get even..i'm just so normal that i do thought that these people who betrays my trust could go to somewhere i wouldnt dare to go..or end up to somewhere i wouldnt see them or for them to just be invisible from me...whereas again as Christian im seeking for forgiveness..and for these people to realize to take care of people around them..and that as a christian i care for them..i may not be showy but i care and pray for them..


Just recently, the biggest joke of my life i came to faced with..not literally saw you know..but methaporically...it's so hard to let go..i'm so tough outside where my friends cannot decipher im having a hard time dealing with what you call rejection..luckily ..thankfully...greatfully, i cannot figure out what better word to use to describe it..i'm better...i'm no longer crying because of some sort of ego jerk...

What's most important is there's hope for everything that is happening to me..to everybody..to the society..

and it's so great to listen to Carrie Underwood's album..just so great...love her songs for real!!!!